On Being an Autistic Troublemaker

 There's a reason why I relate to Tuco from 'The Good, the Bad and the Ugly'. He's not perfect. He's violent, self-centered, rude, mouthy, garrulous, quick-tempered and generally lacks social skills. He has many positive qualities, but he's not labeled "The Ugly" for nothing. All of his qualities, positive and negative, have resonated with me from the moment I first watched the film. I was Tuco. I regretted not realizing this years ago, and if I had, even if my emotional experience had been different, I would have felt a sense of relief while watching his story. This revelation that I was a lot like him is why I was so shocked, as well as pleasantly surprised, that my film 'Force of Habit' was a finalist at Autism Uncut. Usually, the autistic people who get rewarded for their efforts, especially the autistic women, are pleasant, docile and charmingly quirky. I admit to being jealous of the selected Autism Ambassadors from various charities. I'm not a model or an actress, but a typical overly emotional artist.

I have spent my life being viewed as a troublemaker and I have come to believe it. I could have stopped to think that I was being misunderstood, but that didn't fit in with the emotionally secure society of the 2000s. I was always getting in trouble in school and with my family.

I tend to hurt others' feelings, even if there are times where I don't mean it. Often I would say something because I think it's funny, and people would misunderstand, which is strange, because usually people understand everything.

I get stressed easily, because I have physical impairments such as low pain tolerance, sensory sensitivity, dyspraxia and a lack of a sense of time, and I lash out at whatever is around me. You understand why that last part makes me a Tuco Ramirez fangirl. 

My need to have control in my life has caused me to be viewed as a brat. Maybe I am, even though I never intended to be one.

I embody everything that is ugly about autism, and that is not necessarily a bad thing when it comes to activism and advocacy. Even parents with misbehaving autistic children can lay claim to their children's innocence. I can be understood without being innocent, because I'm an adult and should know better. 

I don't have the social skills to be an ambassador, but I am no less autistic than Christine Martin McGuinness.

No, You Don't Regret Voting Leave

 My reasoning is that the people who voted for Brexit had something they wanted in mind but won't say what it is. Whatever it is. Whether it was for trade, or healthcare, or to figure out what their national culture is. Either way, they'll get it. That's why they don't regret it.

They're probably still celebrating getting one over the "metropolitan elites". Seems like the vote gave them the catharsis they wanted.

Many people voted for Brexit as a protest vote, and I hope it was worth it for them. I hope people were satisfied with Cameron's resignation (I personally saw him as a rat jumping a sinking ship; he agreed to the stupid referendum).

I personally don't believe in collective regret. There's no such thing, especially in politics.

Top 10 Joachim Kaps roles

Whenever I love a performance, I look into the actor's other work. And what an array of roles I've found from Joachim Kaps! From his voice acting roles, you wouldn't know that he was the German Patrick Swayze.

10. Algonquin C. Lumpus (German dub of Camp Lazlo)- The German dub of 'Camp Lazlo' is fairly decent, but it's got a good interpretation of Lumpus from Kaps.

9. Gus (German dub of Cinderella 3) Kaps is charming in the role, and although his voice is pitched up, you can tell it's him.

8. J. Thaddeus Toad (German dub of Disney's The Wind in the Willows) Kaps brings his melodic voice and lots of energy to the role. He hits every emotional moment perfectly, and is heartbreaking in the prison scene.

7. Tigger (German dub of Disney's Winnie the Pooh animations) What can I say? Kaps made Tigger his own, while copying Jim Cummings' lisp. He's a delight to listen to. He shows off his singing skills in the dub of 'The Tigger Movie' and excels in the film's comedic and dramatic moments.

6. Dummling (Sherlock Holmes und die Sieben Zwergen) Kaps hams it up like mad in this series, sometimes to annoying levels. However, at times he is adorable, especially in that shiny blond wig. He's sort of a Papageno figure in this fairytale journey.

5. Jacob Scribble (German dub of Wunschpunsch) Kaps gave a beautiful performance to Jacob, and a different interpretation to Harry Hill's. While Hill hammed it up, Kaps' performance was a little warmer and more personable, while still dignified. He's also a little more emotional.

4. Squidward Tentacles (German dub of SpongeBob, Season 9 onwards). After the incredible performance Eberhard Prüter gave, this was a tough act to follow, but Kaps gave an interpretation I grew to love just as much. While Prüter always had an air of dignity, Kaps was wacky and fun. Sometimes, like Prüter, Kaps would interpret an emotion the way it's supposed to be felt, instead of what was on screen. For instance, in 'Snooze, You Lose', he has Squidward's inner monologue sound tired instead of being suddenly angry and alert. His delivery was powerful by being subtle and natural. It's different, but far from wrong. Furthermore, without Squidward, I would neither have learned about Jacob, nor about the three I am about to discuss.

3. Hein Kruse (Familie Intakt). Hein is based on Peter Kruse from the 1973 teleplay 'Reizende Ferien', and although he's just as sexy, he's not as well dressed, which means he fits into the comfortable, homey environment of the series. He's a nice, easygoing guy, but somehow more exciting than the rest of the cast, who act like broad caricatures.

2. Hans-Günther Koch (Ferienheim Bergkristall). Hans-Günther also fits into his comfortable, homey environment, but he's a bolder dresser. I might even say he's a fashion icon. What makes Hans-Günther stand out is that he's an unsympathetic womaniser, and although he loves Susanne, he still cheats on her a lot. And yet he's not completely unlikeable, thanks to Kaps' charismatic performance. 'Ferienheim Bergkristall' is a very funny series, despite the fact that everyone in it hams it up to the max. Hans-Günther is only a little bit of a ham, which is refreshing, when placed alongside the likes of Alois and Mr. Oberpichler, for instance.

1. Achim (Brummkreisel). Unless you really did some research, you wouldn't realize that Kaps was a kids' TV host for a while. It's hard to describe 'Brummkreisel', but it's really just a series of random but harmless events, bookended by a spinning top (hence the name).
Achim is the perfect kids' TV host. He's colourful but not overbearing, and gentle but not boring. He's kind and patient, but far from a pushover, especially concerning his bossy buddy Kunibert. He's mischievous, but not mean. And he's a leader but knows how to compromise.

Why was 2020 called a racial reckoning?

 I'm tired of the phrase "racial reckoning" used to describe 2020. Same with terms such as "the biggest protest since the 1960s". The racial reckoning happened ten years ago, with the founding of Black Lives Matter in June 2013.

Their language indicates that this movement hadn't done enough to stop the police killings of black people in 2020, when in fact so many battles had been fought over that time. So many peaceful protests had happened during those seven years. In 2014 they sought justice for at least ten murders in that year alone. In 2015, at least 23 murders happened, fourteen by police. They marched, they rallied, they held "die-ins". They have displayed determination and diligence in the face of systemic murder and brutality by police and by overgrown manchildren with guns, and that was even before this "racial reckoning" happened. Even as the bodies count got larger every year. Yes, the protests in 2020 mattered, but it's not wrong to say "all protests matter", especially where civil rights are concerned. I'm not dismissing the ones in 2020, I just wish these protesters had been listened to. This is in case you misinterpret my words.

It seems like society, the media and corporations systemically ignored them, as though they waited for a pandemic happen before realizing Black Lives Matter existed. 

When people say "before Black Lives Matter" I assume they're thinking of 2012.

I have been to anti-racism rallies, because I can't believe this is the 21st Century. I somewhat belatedly realized, by 2014, that there was such a frequent pattern of police killing black people you'd think it was a systemic massacre, and you'd be right in thinking it.

(I have Frank Conniff to thank for that. I followed him on Facebook once and he is one of the wokest white people I know of, and helps keep us aware of injustice while the media were looking the other way)

I know I have no right to appropriate words like "woke", but white people also don't get to decide what is a "racial reckoning" and what isn't. They're as good at stealing language as they are at stealing time.

Paidionocracy

 Paidionocracy is a word I just made up, compiled of the words paidion and kratos.

It incrementally started in the late 2000s or early 2010s, when there was a collective backlash against everything from the election of President Obama to the Green Hornet movie, starting from the fringe and making its way into leadership itself. It seems to be a societal pattern. It has empowered people to hate everything that isn't white, male and cisgender on "social" media posts they have no business commenting on; on Facebook, comments only beat the algorithm. Now it has manifested in book bans, abortion bans and drag show bans across the US, Republicans in America heckling President Biden while dressed like Batman antagonists, outrage over people having to learn the truth about the British Empire, repression of both migrants and environmental protestors in Britain, and far-right Austrian lawmakers walking out of Ukrainian President Zelenskyy's speech to the country's parliament.

Here I was thinking we were in the 21st Century, not the 15th. How am I living in a world where people feel entitled to screech about everything that isn't malicious to them, just unfamiliar?

Sometimes it seems the meek have inherited the Earth, other times it has been inherited by people throwing their proverbial toys out of the stroller.

To what extent do "Oyako Neburi"'s Ryouko Tendou and Ren Kagami fit the archetypes of Tadashi Ozawa's 'Bishoujo Game Characters' and Go Office's 'Mastering Bishoujo Characters'?

In this post I am going to analyse the two young girl characters in 'Oyako Neburi~ Sasou Hitozuma Dakaretai Oyako' based on the archetypes presented in 'How to Draw Anime and Game Characters Vol. 5: Bishoujo Game Characters by Tadashi Ozawa' and 'More How to Draw Manga: Mastering Bishoujo Characters'. While 'Mastering Bishoujo Characters' isn't about games, it presents the same archetypes as 'Bishoujo Game Characters'.

Ryouko has elements of ‘The Heroine’ and ‘The Princess’ in ‘Bishoujo Game characters'. She has long straight hair and the gentle countenance of the Heroine. However, she also has the reserved, vulnerable body language of the 'Princess', particularly the shy variety Ozawa shows in Chapter 2.1. In ‘Mastering Bishoujo Characters’, she’s a mix between the Reserved Girl and the Vulnerable Girl. 

Ren is trickier to decipher. She fits no concrete character types in ‘Bishoujo Game Characters’. She’s more confident than the Heroine, more reserved than the Smart Aleck and more “mature” than the Cute, Younger Girl”. Yet in ‘Mastering Bishoujo Characters’, she fits the role of ‘The Cutie’; large eyes, curly curtained hair and a round face. However, although her eyes are upward slanted, there’s still a confident look in her expression. Still, ‘The Bubblehead’ seems to describe her. Despite her sexuality, she acts like a child and talks with a babyish voice. Tadashi Ozawa writes that “An ‘open pose’ (with the feet apart and hands raised above the shoulders) is used to suggest an outgoing, extroverted personality, and a ‘closed pose’ (with the hands held lower than the shoulders, the arms either crossed or hands clasped or hidden, and the knees together) is used to suggest a reserved, introverted personality.” Ren’s hands are never raised above her shoulders, but she always projects an air of confidence and her “crying” sprite evokes Ozawa’s “Cute, Younger Girl” archetype, particularly the RPG design seen in Chapter 2.2. This odd combination of character traits makes her stand out from all of the other childhood friend characters in visual novels and bishoujo games.

In conclusion, Ryouko fits many elements of archetypal heroines as shown in both the books, almost an ideal example of Japanese beauty, while Ren is more eclectic and unique.

My other vintage protest

There have been a lot of references to Orwell's 1984 recently. Politicians and Donald Trump have basically been using it as an instruction manual, using doublespeak to gaslight the public when they're not outright lying to them and using nationalism to rally public support and make them turn a blind eye to the crimes they've committed.

And now England is taking it a step further (or a step as far as a few other countries have already gone) by having the Big Ben bong crowdfund, the Brexit 50p coin and this "Festival of Brexit", which all sound really Orwellian. It sounds like they're preparing for Hate Week or something.

The Leave campaign was illegal, but those who voted to leave don't care because they're in the middle of an identity crisis. What does it mean to be British, and more to the point what does it mean to be English?

Now, when people talk about England going backwards, they don't mean it literally. So as with America, I'm taking it literally.
I'm mainly inspired by Ferienheim Bergkristall, particularly Joachim Kaps' character Hans-Günther Koch, although I'm inspired by Brittany Miller from the 80's Alvin and the Chipmunks cartoon as well.
Ferienheim Bergkristall is of particular fascination to me because it's East German. And East Germany may not have been part of the European Union but it was still European. I also like it because it's funny and it's got Joachim Kaps in it, and he makes anything better.

There's been a big revival in 1980's fashion which gives me the impression that Bershka, Marks and Spencer and River Island know where the country is heading.